BY Kit EatonMon Feb 22, 2010

iPad Porn

Apple can posture and ban sexy iPhone apps and Suicide Girls all it wants. Come March, porn will help the iPad rock. Here’s why.

Like it or love it, there’s no denying the power of Internet porn. If you’re a worker in the TV, video, or computer industry, it’s one of the key drivers behind some of the tech you use on a daily basis. Remember the famous tape format battle between VHS and Betamax (the technically superior system)? VHS’s convenience for porn producers’ partly resulted in it becoming the dominant video system. Widespread adoption by the porn industry also helped Blu-ray’s success over HD-DVD.

Its laser-like focus on cash has given porn an edge in technology development history. And it’s a business that’s always looking for new and novel ways to deliver its product through systems that appeal to its consumers–the one who gets there quickest gets the biggest share of the booty. Pornographic Web sites test drove online payment systems as ways to make quick bucks while everyone else bit their nails and waited years for PayPal. Broadband crushed slow dial-up in part due to users’ hunger for speedy, sexy data…porn. Going back further, porn was thriving at the dawn of cable TV and photography itself. One of the first popular uses of the printing press was to publish pornographic writing and imagery.

Today it’s a multi-billion dollar industry powered by the human psyche and high technology. It’s hard to put a finger on it precisely, but the U.S. porn industry alone is probably worth a long way north of $10 billion per year. Remember the famous adage: “If all the porn was clensed from the Internet, then there’s just be a single Web site in the world. It would say–’bring back all the porn!’” Porn has always been with us, and probably always will in one form or another.

Even on Apple’s iPad.

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To much skin for Cupertino

The brief and to the point form email went out the evening of the 18th, after most US businesses had closed, and stated simply that:

The App Store continues to evolve, and as such, we are constantly refining
our guidelines. Your application, INSERT NAME HERE, contains content that we had
originally believed to be suitable for distribution. However, we have recently received
numerous complaints from our customers about this type of content, and have changed
our guidelines appropriately.

We have decided to remove any overtly sexual content from the App Store, which
includes your application.

Thank you for your understanding in this matter. If you believe you can make the
necessary changes so that INSERT NAME HERE complies with our recent changes, we
encourage you to do so and resubmit for review.

Sincerely,
iPhone App Review

Most of the victims will remain silent. SuicideGirls.com, Sunny Leone, Aria Giovanni, Cutest Girls, Cyberage.com… all successful apps that survived the approval process only to be removed arbitrarily. These are small brands, unimportant in the grand scheme of things. There are no strategic partnerships to be had, no branding opportunities, no software, movie or music rights for Apple to use at a later point.

Not everyone is upset though, Playboy still has their application in the store, as does Sports Illustrated. Big names, big brands and suddenly Apple’s scruples don’t seem to get in the way. Scruples, that are noticeably out of place from a company that sells R rated movies, songs with explicit lyrics and violent and sexual video games.

This is OK, because its got bunny ears

Apple has always been outstanding at brand control. Their products are uniform, their name pristine and clear in the consumers mind. This has been accomplished by strict quality control, consistent messages and careful marketing, but it is our belief that what was good business practice has become a Religion. Don’t get us wrong, we love our iphones and ipods, but not so much that we willing to let Steve Jobs and the turtlenecked clones at Cupertino tell us what we can and can’t do with our own mobiles. Mobile porn not only exists, its prolific and desired and there is nothing Apple can do to stop people from watching on their precious devices.

So what happens now? Android is looking pretty good, as is blackberry, palm pre and any other mobile platform not protected by zealots and hypocrites.

Lesbian, Natural boobs, Toys, First time, Piercing, Blonde, Spanking, Big clit

Hardcore, Lesbian, Teen, Threesome, Toys, First time, Piercing, Brunette, Strap-on, Shaved

Bigtits, Lesbian, Natural boobs, Smalltitts, Toys, Foreign

The result has been overwhelmingly popular. Pink Visual Director Matt Morningwood said “A lot of models also tour as feature dancers, but many of our girls have never done any stripping before, or haven’t danced with a camera serving as the ‘customer,’ so this was a new experience for them.”

While there’s clearly no substitute for being lied to in person by a young woman who swears she’s only stripping as a means to pay tuition along her way to becoming a doctor or world-renowned physicist, Pink Visual thinks it is otherwise well on the way to capturing the topless club vibe. We are currently working on even more ideas that will make the experience feel more lifelike, including an option to ‘tip’ girls that feeds into their rating on the site.

In short, PVStrips is the perfect strip club…get your stripper fix without dealing with all of the “in-person” hassles!

Enjoy!

<-- click this button to check it out! Please note that if your machine does not already have the iTunes software installed, you will be prompted to download it (for free) first.

It’s not hardcore mobile porn (a single stray nipple is enough to get the app store’s collective panties bunched up), but hey — it’s cute chicks wearing almost nothing, so that’s a start, right?

We are speaking, sarcastically of course, about their new Apple approved Applications for Iphone and Ipod Touch. Brace yourselves, because I’m sure these are the first of many popular pornstars to make their appearance as real applications in Apple’s sacred shopping center. I’m sure a Jenna, Sasha, and Jesse app are not too far behind.

The problem of course is that the apps feature PG rated content of the stars mostly clothed. Wow, that’s fun… if you’re 12 and this month’s Victoria’s Secret got swiped by the mailman.

Take our advice and keep your mobile phone tuned in right here to enjoy some actual real naked women in real hardcore mobile porn.

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Remembrance of Porn Past

When I was a student at UNC-Chapel Hill, chasing girls, smoking illicit natural substances, and wondering how many years I could string out my undergraduate experience before I ran into the inevitable brick wall of graduation and adult responsibilities, I spent some time perusing magazines of substance such as Playboy and Penthouse. I actually did read the articles — both regularly published interesting political and social material, though I thought Playboy’s taste in fiction was a bit too insular and exclusionary for my non-Upper East Side taste — but I did spend a substantial amount of time looking over the pictures. Those ladies were pretty.

It’s probably worth noting that my roommate, who actually had the Playboy subscription, forbid us to read the magazine, or even to open it, until we had successfully “found the bunny.” That exotic little chore involved sitting and staring at the cover for a length of time anywhere from a few moments to the better part of the afternoon, until we had found the small bunny logo hidden somewhere on the cover. Sometimes it was hidden in some nice lady’s bosom, sometimes on a G-string, sometimes in a more original location. As I remember, the most difficult one to find was in a cover shot of a lovely brunette dressed as a cop, although no cop I’ve ever seen displayed as splendid a chest as this one. Hefner and his merry band of photography gnomes had placed a tiny white bunny on the tip of her police whistle. Took us all day and a good part of the night to find it; at one point there were at least six of us, guys and girls alike, crouched over the magazine with our noses an inch from the cover, scanning every millimeter for that damn bunny. We found it, and another month of wonder and airbrushed skin was ours for the taking.

Porn Stormed

For a brief moment, our beloved former Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich, had a similar opportunity open to him. He could embrace the porn as his own; it was all laid out before him like a Beverly Hills ingenue who’d downed too much Chardonnay. Unfortunately, when news of Newt’s golden opportunity became public, instead of standing up like the red-blooded, clandestinely porn-swilling Americans who voted for him, he ran squealing off into the night, braying about “family values” and “inadvertent,” happenstance errors of the cosmos, like Jimmy Swaggart when his rowdy cousin Jerry Lee Lewis tried to get him to peek at naked women in the hoochie koochie tent. Undoubtedly, liberals were involved in Newt’s discomfiture.

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Another site from the minds at IPornoPass.com, MobileTGirls.com is tapping into the purely shemale / tranny part of their library to titillate us with tits and dicks. The site is set up great for a variety of mobile devices. We tried it on both the ipod and iphone and even gave the tour a run through on the Android. It looked great on all three. The content runs the gauntlet from great to not so great, which is common for mega video sites, but it still will get the job done for you. The site is priced at less then $20 which is fair because the videos are very well presented and I don’t think you will find a tranny site for mobile with this kind of selection anywhere else.

The Rev. Says: You’ve GOT SHEMALE!

See the Review

Of course Mr. Morningwood shot this video of the footage on his iphone…

As such, we’ve partnered with our new friends at www.mobilepornreport.com to feature their reviews here on the Pink Visual Mobile Porn Blog.

Please check in from time to time to see what our buddies have to say about whats available, porn wise, for your iphone, blackberry, itouch, android, or palm pre.

Now it seems some anal retentive idiots are starting to find the term offensive and forums are bowing to the noisy pinheads and actually penalizing users for the term.

Well, we here at Ipinkvisual invite all our users to fap, to say fap, to type fap, to think fap and to fap themselves sore.

Ipinkvisual… your mobile porn fap spot.

or for viewing the trailer on your iphone visit ipinkvisualpass.com

Watching this recently posted trailer on iPinkVisualPass.com makes me wonder; how often does it happen that people watch mobile porn while attending church services?

Sure, the rest of the congregation would probably frown on such behavior, but who could blame a bored Christian fellow for tuning out the preacher and tuning in to mobile porn scenes featuring smokin’ hot chicks like those featured in Pink Visual’s iPhone porn?

The other thing that this particular mobile porn trailer made me think? I’ll bet the intro to this porn video scene is about the only circumstance under which you’ll ever see Otto Bauer and Audrey Hollander on church property….

~ Al.